I"ve Promised Myself, But I Break My Own Promises.....

Today, is the day where my sister get married...
Today, is the day where I suppose to to be very happy because one of my sisters is going to leaving this house...

I'm so excited, but it's just for awhile...

When the night comes, my sister's husband invite guests to the ceremony, which me and my entire family also joining because we're part of the female bride...

While we're eating, I was making lots of jokes. And to be honest, that was not me at all...
I don't know why I'm doing that, but honestly, I think my jokes this night pretty funny for people...
It never does...
Is it because I'm exciting that my sister leaving? Or maybe, I just don't want to feel sad for my sister's gone...

When we're going home, we talk to the bride, and taking photo with them...
First, my older sister (who'd just married) start to cry, and then my third sister, my mom, my dad, and my second sister...
I wasn't sad or cry at all, even my tears won't drop even a small drop...
Even when they cry, I still can make jokes, but that doesn't work because they already flown with the sadness...

When on way home, I was singing "Bunda" which this song is about mother, I don't know why, I just sing it...

Arrived at home, my mood was changed 180 degree...
I feel mad or maybe my emotion is going to explode in few seconds...
After sending the cakes for Cemara Security, I went to my bedroom and start to unclothes myself...

When I was trying to take off my necklace, it was so hard, I don't know why, but my emotion keep coming up. And in few seconds, suddenly a tear dropped from my right eyes...

Am I crying??? Yes I did...
Since the first drop, my tears can't stop anymore, it feels like that my sadness just exploded...

I was promised to myself that I won't going to drop my tears anymore, but seems like I can't promised that anymore...
My tears will fall once it must fall, and now it's falling...


I have heard about something that people told me...
"If you can't hold your promises, break it once for your own good won't be a problem."

"How strong who you are, one day you'll be soft."

"If someone you hate from your house is going, their shadow inside the house will keep living there"

the last, "If you hate anybody, there's one moment you'll miss their self and you'll remember that memory forever."


To be honest, I can say that words is not wrong at all, because I'd feel it myself...
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Goodbye sister, hope you live happily ever after, forever and ever, and always...
From your naughty little brother :
With love
Hendrik Salim