True Friendship...

I'm really pissed and disappointed with someone I call my "best friend" since I'm in primary...
I really didn't expected that he's really different...
I just wondering, what he really want right now???

He really post some status that didn't talk about me in straight direction,but he really make me doubt to call him my "best friend"...

Real friendship was suppose to be talk to someone face to face,not by updating something so people wondering anything...

Now if you think I'm a friend who just look for you if something happen, then you got your wish come true...
Since the beginning, I'm really busy and can't talk and chat lots of things just like when we're in primary...
People have their own life, and so were you...
If you're in my position right now, I want to ask something...
How you feel when you're really busy,and then I say you're someone who looking for me when you need me and then I forget you when it's over???

You can talk about me like that,but you don't know how I feel when you say that...

Unforgettable 9-11...

Last night was 1 of the best birthday I've ever had in my life...
My small illegal family just make a surprise for me...
Actually, I already know they're trying to surprise me,until my sister pretending to cry and she's really sounds like crying for real...

I got cakes,a T-shirt from my little sister and a poster that they made by themselves...
I love you BUNBIN-ers family...
<3

Usual Day...

Hello blogspot...
Sure it has been a long time since... Well, since I'm at KL maybe???
I was just miss to post something at here,but I don't know what to post...

Well,maybe I can just blog my wish for others...
I wish no more fighting and sins happened in next year and until forever...
I wish no more strange viruses in this world...
I wish every human live happily without any arguments...

I want to see this world as "beautiful" as it was...

And I hope for no more money crisis again...
So, I guess that's my wish for now...
Hehehe...

Peace, from H

Why This Happen To Me Everytime???

Dear Lord...
I'm really don't know why am I born to be this way...
I feel like I'm very useful to become a human...
I can't do anything myself...
every time I ask for help, always the trouble that I make...

Why Lord?
Why I'm so weak?
Why can't I become much stronger than I was...
I want to change my life...

I don't want to be a whiny person anymore...
I want to be brave, being respect, and can be a good person...

Why I live like this???
:'(

College Time

On 20th May 2011, this is the day where I've already graduated from Chandra Kusuma School...

I have already finished my school and started to enter the university life...

My preparation? Not too much, not too less either...
I have been accepted at The Otomotif College in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia...

I'm excited, but in different way...
I'm not excited to be in Malaysia, I'm just excited that I can study and learn something that I have been wait for a pretty long time...

So, I'm preparing myself for the big event on 9th July 2011...

Goodbye to School Life.....

I've just finish my final exam today....
Gladly I can do the exam with average score....
My only hope is pass this exam and graduate....

New page has opened...
It's my time to fill the new pages with new stories....
I don't want to turn back because I feel hurt if I remember them...

Earlier, I just can't believe that I did this...
My tears fall during the exam because I remembering every moment that I have been through...
I don't know why am I crying?
I don't want to remember my school time,
I don't want to remember those unknown person,
I don't want to remember my love story that have been written for a long time,
I don't want to remember everything...
Then why am I crying???

I just hope I can bury those feelings and memories, and left it there and not trying to dig it anymore...


So long school time, hello to work.....

Final Exam for Senior Year,,,

Finally, the last level on high school senior year is getting closer...
Since the last exam that I face, I think I'll find big trouble this time...

My grade is lower and that's very disappointing because I've never had such a bad score...

I'm getting weaker, and I'm just wishing that I can pass this final examination....
I'll be very thankful to GOD for letting me pass my final exam...

Please GOD, I don't want to disappoint my whole family...
Help me out GOD....
AMEN...

I"ve Promised Myself, But I Break My Own Promises.....

Today, is the day where my sister get married...
Today, is the day where I suppose to to be very happy because one of my sisters is going to leaving this house...

I'm so excited, but it's just for awhile...

When the night comes, my sister's husband invite guests to the ceremony, which me and my entire family also joining because we're part of the female bride...

While we're eating, I was making lots of jokes. And to be honest, that was not me at all...
I don't know why I'm doing that, but honestly, I think my jokes this night pretty funny for people...
It never does...
Is it because I'm exciting that my sister leaving? Or maybe, I just don't want to feel sad for my sister's gone...

When we're going home, we talk to the bride, and taking photo with them...
First, my older sister (who'd just married) start to cry, and then my third sister, my mom, my dad, and my second sister...
I wasn't sad or cry at all, even my tears won't drop even a small drop...
Even when they cry, I still can make jokes, but that doesn't work because they already flown with the sadness...

When on way home, I was singing "Bunda" which this song is about mother, I don't know why, I just sing it...

Arrived at home, my mood was changed 180 degree...
I feel mad or maybe my emotion is going to explode in few seconds...
After sending the cakes for Cemara Security, I went to my bedroom and start to unclothes myself...

When I was trying to take off my necklace, it was so hard, I don't know why, but my emotion keep coming up. And in few seconds, suddenly a tear dropped from my right eyes...

Am I crying??? Yes I did...
Since the first drop, my tears can't stop anymore, it feels like that my sadness just exploded...

I was promised to myself that I won't going to drop my tears anymore, but seems like I can't promised that anymore...
My tears will fall once it must fall, and now it's falling...


I have heard about something that people told me...
"If you can't hold your promises, break it once for your own good won't be a problem."

"How strong who you are, one day you'll be soft."

"If someone you hate from your house is going, their shadow inside the house will keep living there"

the last, "If you hate anybody, there's one moment you'll miss their self and you'll remember that memory forever."


To be honest, I can say that words is not wrong at all, because I'd feel it myself...
_____________________________________________________
Goodbye sister, hope you live happily ever after, forever and ever, and always...
From your naughty little brother :
With love
Hendrik Salim