Big Laugh & Big Spirit....

25 December 2010, exactly at 3.39PM, I went to the Mawar Sharon church to celebrate Christmas there...
I went there with my friend from my house, where he came to pick me up...

First time at church, I was like a person without any spirit at all..
Then, when I hear the priest talking about true happiness, my spirit went up and I feel the Christmas spirit that day...

Since my spirit went up, I sing very loudly with my friends and make some jokes with them...
We sing, we dance, we jump together, and say "HAPPY MERRY CHRISTMAS" to each other and went down to the food court(because the church is at the roof floor of Sun Plaza)
Hehehe.....
XD

After we having our dinner, we went home to our own house, and still, my Christmas spirit never went down since that day...

Thank you GOD for your help because without you, I won't have such a great night and feeling of my Christmas spirit...

Happy Birthday... JESUS...(As my friend said at the church)
Wish you all the best...
(sounds like the birthday of my regular friends...)
XD


YOU ARE ALL THE BEST GOD....

6 Years......

"lho ndrik... Uda 6 tahun ya......" said 1 of my greatest teacher....

Yeah, it's already 6 years for me at Chandra Kusuma School, and soon I will graduate and leaving my lovely school...

At first when I hear my teacher said that, I was going to cry because I can't hold my tears. But thank GOD that he gave me strength to stand strong.

I really miss the memory at this school, when the first time I came, my first field trip, my relationship with my friends.....

GOD, I wish this school stay rocking forever...
I will study harder for the name of this school...
AMEN...

BBQ At Debbie's House....

Well, as usual what BBQ means, that's what we do....

When we finish, all of us went to Wenny's house, but it's only for a while....
Me, Vincent, My cousin Herry, Vincent's cousin Hendry, and Brilliant went to the Internet cafe and play 'Point Blank'...

Brilliant went home early, so he miss the fun...
Four of us play just like an stupid person....
=D

Nice day, but hard to find...

The First Time "I HATE MYSELF"...!!!

I really want to end my life since yesterday...
I wish that I never be born in this world because I only make people mad....

I'm just wishing to GOD to tell me the truth about my life...

Why should I be born? What is my duty in this world? What must I do?
PLEASE ANSWER ME GOD...

WHY YOU NEVER ANSWER MY QUESTION???

GOD... I'm So Scared.....

Tomorrow is the ceremony day, which I become the part of the PASKIBRA again...

And for the first time, I never feel so scared like this since I have stage fever when I was kids...

Now I feel so scared and shaken, I'm afraid that I make a mistake...

GOD, PLEASE HELP ME FOR TOMORROW...
HELP ME TO NOT DOING ANY MISTAKE DURING THE CEREMONY...

AMEN...

Planning On Something Huge......

This is going to be very stupid things to do....

I'm planning on over-limit my body building exercise, which this may help me to forget all my problems....

Well, of course there's going to be side effects...

Maybe some of my body going to be paralyze and can't being used for a while...
Maybe I'll become more aggressive....
Maybe I'll dead soon....
Maybe......

But the point is, I'm not thinking on the side effects, I just think how to make myself forget those problems. That's all in my mind......

LET'S GET CRAZY....!!!!

OK, I Did It...... (I Think)

I know this part just sounds like I'm show off, but I don't know.....

I was chatting with a girl, who I know that my friend like her and she know he like her......
I was trying to make sure to her that he is not bad person, and they will go on to the next step of the "Romance Step", which I mean was "Married"....
She keep telling me that she looking for a man that perfect inside and outside (but I see that she only looking at the outside only)

I give her 2 option about man...
First she pick man 1 because she said he has good physic, but I try to make sure her that man 1 is almost same like me, unchangeable......
Then she think for the second time, and choose man 2....

I was glad that her heart is open now, so my friend have a opportunity to get her back (because he is man 2)....


I only can say,good luck to you two.....
I wish you both can go far more than I imagine......
=)

3 Days At Hometown......

Day 1 :
1. I was went to hometown by train, I arrived at 2 o'clock, and then I went to lunch with parent......
2. After at the restaurant, we ordered soup, but the soup is full with bone....(wanted or not, we must eat it) =(
3. When we arrive at home, I ask my dad to let me go around the city by motorcycle. He let me to go, but I must go with company, which is my dad's worker...
4. I went to my old school, swimming pool area, my old church, and the last went to my friend's school, but suddenly it's raining...(stink!!!)
5. I return to home and went to dinner with my parents, we go to "Mangtop" (small restaurant,I forgot how to spell) and eat my favorite food....(YUMMY.....)
6. Went back to home, and take a rest......

Day 2 :
1. I woke up at 7 A.M, prepare myself to my dad's palm oil's garden...
2. Going to ground zero by jeep....
3. Stay at there and look around(so boring)...
4. Eat lunch(just rice, some vegetables, and fish)
5. Go and follow the worker to collect palm fruit...
6. Went home......
7. Take a bath and eat noodle....
8. Text with some friends and the fall asleep....
9. Wake up because hungry, watch movie, eat cake, and fall asleep.....

Day 3 :
1. Wake up and take a bath(really fast)
2. Went to the small restaurant near my neighborhood....
3. Go to "Nuansa Hotel" with parents and met their friend.....
4. Breakfast together and start our journey to Medan....
5. Sit at car, listening to parents chat, fall asleep....
6. Eat at "RM Indo Seafood"....went to parents friend's family house.......
7. Went to their coconut milk factory...
8. Eat at "RM Sempurna" (I just eat a little) and then went to Medan.....(fast)
9. Arrived, company my sister to shut the shop, buy and eat dinner, and sleep......

that's my journey during at hometown and back from there....
=)

Sometimes, I hate to meet my old friend,especially the female.....

I really hate someone that forgotten their friend easily.....
I already did that, and it's because I didn't mean to....

But I can't believe that my friend didn't want to recognize me, and she did it with eyes open....
She even remove me from her friend list on facebook, how you feel about that if you're me????

GET LOST YOU B*TCH, YOU'RE JUST A POPULAR FEMALE THAT NEVER RESPECT THE OTHER.....
NOW I REALIZE, I SHOULDN'T GET TOO CLOSE WITH YOU. JUST LIKE MY PARENTS SAID....
YOU'RE A B*TCH FROM A BAD FAMILY......

GET LOST....

Another Denied Journey.....

I suppose to return to my hometown today, but still,it's canceled....

Because of my sister is going married, today her boyfriend's parent come to my house, and because of that, my dad must cancel the trip....

DAMN.....!!!!

YAY...........

Great thing happens to me today...

Guess what, I pass my exam......
hahaha.......

I was very afraid that I didn't pass,but I did....


My cold sweat makes me very scared,but now I feel free......



SENIOR YEAR, HERE I COME......

THANK YOU GOD.....

I'm So Bored....

I got nothing to do during this holiday....
I wish that 19th June came soon, because after that I'll return to my hometown.....

But I remember, that I don't know if I pass my grade and went to senior year....


GOD, please speed up the time until 19th June....
And please make me pass my middle year, so I can go to senior year and make my parents proud......

AMEN......

The Best Performance of Last Crew........

I'm so proud of Last Crew...
you guys did a good job today(well,Tommy did fall down, but it doesn't matter...)

What you guys did today are going to bring us to the next step of Last popularity.....


Thank you to Asraf for helping us earlier...
Last... Keep up the good work.....

=)

FREEDOM.....But Still........

My exam is finish...
THANKS GOD, I HAVE MET MY FREEDOM.....

But still, something is bothering me....

The exam is pass, but I still can't calm...
I must know my grade,so I can glad.....


I wish I pass.....

GOD,PLEASE HELP ME TO PASS MY MIDDLE YEAR.....
AMEN.....

The Final Choice In My Life......

I am desperate and confuse....

I don't know how my life would going, and now I'm really in front of "The Path Of My Life"...

The first path is, if I pass my exam and I'm accepted in senior high school, I will continue my school until college...

The other path is, if I didn't pass my exam, I want to continue my life as an engineer... I don't want to continue my school anymore....


Well,my path will be shown in 19th of June 2010....
GOD, I surrender in Your hand....

I wish I can pass, but if not, it's okay...
AMEN...

This Was Just My Cover......

I always smile to anybody, show my happy face, make a lots of humor and act like a kids....
But it's actually my fake identity...

The real person of me, even no one like my true identity....

At school,maybe I'm a happy person, living without any problem in my life....

Actually, I did have a lot of problems..... Even more than you guys did.....

Mostly, my problem is with my friends.....
At school,they think I've no grudge to them, but actually, I keep that in my heart....

I unload my emotion and grudge by doing some activity like training my martial arts, do some physical exercise, and something else using huge amount of power.... That's what make me seems different at school.....

Well, like people always say, "Even how great you manage your emotion, sometimes it can exploded by itself..."

And I did....I already unload BIG amount of emotion during last week and until now, and it's because of my teacher......


They really make me feel.....
GRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHH......!!!!!

I wish that I didn't met them anymore when I graduate....
And I wish I can pass my exam without any problems...
or else.....


GOD, please help me....
='(

So Long Buddy......

"H" is going to Bandung this Thursday....
I don't know when, but sure he will go....
He is returning to Medan when the prom night, and have a last dance with his lover....

Well,sure I will miss him as my best pal, I have already spare some good time with him....


See you dude, I still have your debt, and I want to collect it when you come back next year.....

Peace and may GOD bless you always...

I cry out loud and I find my way out.....

It has been a long time since the day I have a big argue with my family, I was thinking, who am I? who is my parents? where is my family? why I am different with my family?

I was screaming, pray to GOD, and I did cry very badly....

Since then, I was try to end my life, so this situation won't happen again.

But then, I talking and text messages to one of my friend, and I ask her about myself.
She tells me everything about myself, and then she gave me advices.

It's happen last night, and since that day, I found my own way out through the "Land of Sadness"
A place where I stay for a very long time......

W, thank you so much for your advices and help.....
You're the angel that GOD send to me.....

And to GOD, thank you for listening to me, I know you're going to mad at me, but I wish that you want to forgive me.....
Forgive me because of my sins, forgive me because I mad at you, and forgive me because I don't trust in you.
THANK YOU GOD.....
=)

I'm Sick With My Family........

What the f*ck is going on....
My life is ruin and I'm totally in big mess......

Thanks to my "know everything" family because they already make me bad in peoples eyes.....

Today, I realize that they even only can complain about all I'm doing...
They don't even know that I'm already tired with them......
Everything that pass my ears only "bla bla bla bla bla bla bla" and "bla"....

What the f*cking sh*t they thinking.....


Today, since they said that I only can spending money, I've decided to looking for a job....
I'll show to their ass that I'm not only can spending money, but I also can earn it by my own sweat.....!!!

Backup From My Friend.....

Last night, I was hang out with a friend. He told me that I am a person without any plan inside myself.....

I am telling him everything, what I feel, my tiredness, and secrets....
He help me one by one, and without I expected, everything has been solved easily by him.....

Thanks H, you're the man......

Damn Get In Big Trouble.......

1, We were given a lots of projects, which it's completed this Monday and the next week.....
2, My exam test score is damn too low, I must chase it until it get to the safe point.....
3, I am a person who get jealous easily, and now I even didn't face somebody who I suppose to be care about......

Why I am in this kind of situation????
HATE THIS.....!!!

Tired of everything........

Today....
I am totally hate my life.....

I only want to ask one simple question, what can a person like me do to everybody???
Even I can't join my team on dancing competition.....
am I that weak???
I hate when people only judge me by my cover only, they even didn't looking at the other side.....

F*CK, I HATE MY LIFE....!!!!!

GOD... I'm Confuse.....HELP.........!!!!

Honestly.....I'm really - really confuse with my life.......
Everything I've done never get better, only the worst thing I've seen now.....

Let's see on my talent,
1. Singing....
when I'm singing, everybody said that my voice is worst. they advice me too play music only....
2. Playing Music....
When I play music, people only say "not bad" and the else, a lots of bad comments.....
3. Self Defense....
When I'm in Secondary 1, I have learn some self defense moves. But my parents said, I better leave it because not good for me....
4. Army Squad / Police Officer....
I was great in accuracy. When I told my family about what I'm joining in, all of them didn't agree.....
5. Gamer....
I'm great in game, but none of my family member let me to play game anymore. They don't want me to play until don't know time....
6. Dance....
Something that can express my feeling. But still, none of my family member like it.....
7. Engineering....
Family member agree with it, but the problem is, am I have any talent in it???



GUYS, I NEED YOUR HELP NOW....
WHICH ONE SHOULD I CHOOSE????

Really - really Boring day......

Today....

I've got nothing to do at all.......
Everything in my mind seems blank, nothing I've been thinking for today......

What is going on????

You All Only Looking For Popular People.......!!!

I already realize everything you guys just did to me.....
Well, if you guys think I'm not popular or else, then just tell me....
No need to hide it out......
The most you guys hide it, the more hate you guys got from me.......

Some Secret Revealed Today........

Dear Blogger Lover....
I was reveal my own secret yesterday, and now I feel a bit glad.....

I hate to say this, but I really - really like myself when I'm out of control....
feels like freedom is in front of my eyes.....

YAY......FREEDOM FOREVER.............

DPD....(Day Pass Day)

I'm totally feel calmer since those past day.....
sounds like all of my trouble already gone forever.......

but, my feeling always said that everything will be back again........


even if I'm already free from my problem, it doesn't mean that my problem is finish........

I must prepare myself for it.....

FIGHT....!!!